Tag Archives: change

Three Hundred Sixty Two: Way to Change

“Things do not change; we change.”  – Henry David Thoreau

Monday, December 29th

Every waking day is an experiment, isn’t it? Will we live our next 24 hours the way we lived the last? Will we chew on the same thoughts and make all the same jokes? Will we drive to work via a new route or finally get the ball rolling on that project that we’ve put off forever? Every single day holds the capacity for change.

Is change comforting? Does it need to be?

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Three Hundred One: Change of Plans

“Flow in the living moment. We are always in a process of becoming and nothing is fixed. Have no rigid system in you, and you’ll be flexible to change with the ever changing. Open yourself and flow, my friend. Flow in the total openness of the living moment. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Moving, be like water. Still, be like a mirror. Respond like an echo.”  – Bruce Lee

Wednesday, October 29th

Even when I have no plans, a sudden task or change puts a certain energy on my day. I was prepared to go to my dental appointment and I got the automated call from the school district last night that students would get out of school two hours early today. I haven’t tried taking two young children to a dental cleaning, and I won’t start now. Plan B.

It’s my bad because I don’t have the school calendar synched with my personal calendar, but this threw me for a loop. So much so that I decided it was finally time to switch dentists to an office that was closer to home. It takes forethought to get out and across town for an hour-long appointment, avoiding gridlock traffic there and back.

In the end, I took the kids to a restaurant and used up the rest of a gift card that was burning a hole in my pocket. We had a fun date in the afternoon and it certainly beat a dental hygienist mucking about in my mouth.

How fixed are you to your schedule?

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One Hundred Ninety One: Home

Thursday, July 10th

There is something about standing on the ground that you grew up on. Touching the earth where you dug as a child, looking at the trees you kissed under as a teenager, and smelling the ocean that you swam in at nighttime as a young adult. This land holds all the memories of all that have passed here before.

I have brought my children and husband here hoping that maybe, in some small way, they see what it was like for me to grow up here. The thing is that we (the town and I both) have changed. We’ve grown older, met people who have loved us and scarred us, and started new lives apart from one another.

I woke up today, Friday, before anyone else and walked down to the inlet close to our campsite. I took off my sandals and put my feet to the earth. And I listened. Tiny birds joined me. A squirrel came over. The sun rose, and this place told me that it still remembered me. I brought that energy up from the earth, and brought it down into my body to hold onto it for as long as I can.

How do you feel when you return to your hometown?

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One Hundred Sixty Three: Growing Up the Hard Way

“Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence./Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance./Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence./Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance.” – Yoko Ono

Thursday, June 12th

A friend came over to pick up a painting he’d let us hang on our walls for several years. It had been a turbulent time in his life, and he felt the painting should be hung and enjoyed. We gave it a prominent spot in our household. Our children have literally grown up with that image in their world. The painting will be missed, but it was time it returned to its owner so it could bring a spot of beauty and healing into his world.

This friend had been the personification of “exuberance” when I met him. Flirtatious and bright-eyed, he was excited about music and community. He was married and was considering starting a family with his wife. His father – who lives abroad – passed away. He flew home to help his family cope with the devastation as well as keeping business matters in order. He found out his wife was pregnant. He jumped between continents to support family. His mother’s health declined, and she passed away. His wife had a miscarriage. She became pregnant again. He continued to run his father’s business abroad and his children were born a world away. Finally, they divorced and now he is here trying to be a father to his children.

Now when I hug him I feel his reluctance not his outpour of enthusiasm. When he smiles, his face is wrought with wrinkles. I believe he has participated in creating his disappointing situation just as much as his ex-wife has, but it is disheartening to see the anguish on his face and know that this is what his children see and experience when they visit.

How do you help a friend who has a deep and complicated sadness?

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