Three Hundred Thirty Three: The Core of My Marriage

“It is a full time job being honest one moment at a time, remembering to love, to honor, to respect. It is a practice, a discipline, worthy of every moment.”  – Jasmine Guy

Sunday, November 30th

I talk a lot when I’m excited. I want to share every shade of every feeling I have about every detail. My husband…does not.

After being together for thirteen years and married for seven, I know that it’s going to be better for all of us if I keep my commentary under wraps in certain situations. I, in no way, silence myself…but I’ve learned that I don’t need to get my way or express my opinion on everything all the time. That feels like a triumph.

Do we fight? Hell yeah, better than the best of them. Do we fight because I’ve had my say when I could have shown more self-control? YES! I am pleased that we are both human and make mistakes and fight it out and apologize. It is more honest and, I feel, emotionally healthy for my children to see us work through our mistakes. We’ll all be in a position at some point where we have made a mess of things.  Recovery and reflection is vital in my life, and it has brought me to a point where I am able to avoid conflicts rather than clean up after them.

Today, on our actual anniversary, there was some grittiness between us. At one point I had that vicious thought of “Well, the anniversary certainly is over now, isn’t it?” Then the moment passed and we moved on.

What are your tips for a successful relationship?

More…

 

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