“The secret of all victory lies in the organization of the non-obvious.” – Marcus Aurelius
“Messy stuff irritates me. I don’t like messiness. If you leave something around my house, I’ll tell you to move it back, clean it up, throw it in the trash – don’t matter, just get rid of it. I need stuff neat, organized. And once I start cleaning stuff, I don’t stop until it’s done. Otherwise I’m irritated all day.” – Russell Westbrook
Saturday, August 2nd
This Saturday was rare in that we had no set plans and no real agenda for the day. I’m happy my husband I had a blank screen on our synced calendars. Somehow I rolled into quite an endeavor of going through our storage space and pulling out some larger items that I knew I’d never use again. The low-to-the-ground table that we never seemed to have the space for. A baby gate. An aquarium that was slated to be my carnivorous plant display – yet another thing I don’t have the space for. It was time for an overhaul.
There’s a problem here. After a week of stressing to my children the importance of communicating clearly when they leave our house to go play, I didn’t tell my husband what was going on. He went to run a couple of errands and came home to the house being disheveled. I know that this causes a lot of anxiety in my husband, but there was time today to show him that I could move these things out and free up some space for us. That’s doable, right?
I’ve been part of an online “Buy Nothing” community for the past couple months made up of neighbors who have things to get rid of, share, and repurpose. I found a cargo box to borrow for our vacation, so I saw how this was saving our family money and helping others in need (or want.) I darted around my husband taking pictures of the items to move out and found homes for them, but again, I didn’t really communicate that to him. I had my head down and focused on the task. I knew that he was having a slight panic attack in seeing the house like this so I wanted to focus on my new job and get it done. And done, it was gotten!
Fast forward to the time after the kids went to bed and it came to a head between my husband and I. He admitted that he didn’t see the value in having an organized house, and that he would prefer to have a clean house instead. I never quite understand that since I think a truly clean house comes from having an organized home. We talked it out, and acknowledged the other’s opinions but it hardly ever feels that simple to resolve differences of opinion in a relationship. If this is the one trigger point my husband and I have in our relationship then I suppose that we are lucky to agree on so many other things, right?
Things come and go in our lives. I’m just trying to keep the flow moving smoothly, keep my living space open, and keep conflicts to a minimum.
What are the trigger points in your relationship?