“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.” – Donna Roberts
Thursday, July 24th
Today is the birthday of a very brave and wonderful woman in my life. I feel like her birthday has been overshadowed by the intensity of her life situation as of late, so I want to send more love her way.
She told me about a year ago that it was strange to now know friends who were suffering through the “Big D”. The first thought that gullible and infantile me had was “diarrhea”, but alas she was referring to divorce. She’s right. As I approach 40, more and more of my friends have moved on from the milestones of marriage and childbearing to another modern-day milestone of divorce.
This wasn’t a “starter marriage”. She has been married to this man for 9 years. They have two children together. She has served as a step-mother to his two children from prior relationships. She went through years of therapy and a painful attempt at reconciliation in an effort to save her marriage.
When I met her she was in the middle of her pioneering year of living authentically. Well, we’d met years ago at a playtime when our first-born children were babies, but it took some time for us to really connect. I caught her at a playground chewing out another Mom for always asking for support without ever genuinely showing any interest or concern for her own well-being. I liked her moxie and ability to keep it real three feet from the kids sproingy motorcycle. We’ve been tight ever since.
From her, I have learned that being honest can be very painful. Honesty takes us down the more difficult path of either understanding, reconciling, or separating from things and people in our lives. That calls us to find phenomenal strength and emotional energy, and the ability to ride the wave of change that ensues.
Ont his day, she decompressed and let it all go. She went to a communal women’s spa by herself and allowed herself to have a true day of relaxation.
What are you learning today from your friends?